Pursuing Peace

Getting to a place of inner peace and calm has become my passion-perhaps because I have gotten a taste of it and found it to be the most amazing place. It is sweeter than anything I have ever tasted. It's a place of God-centeredness. There is no guilt, no shame, no regret, no bitterness or agitation of any kind. I suppose it is a taste of heaven and I want more. Unfortunately, everything on earth opposes me. I am bombarded by tasks that must be done, people that must be attended to, needs that must be met and even fleshly requirements such as necessary sleep.

I am also amazed at how very real and influential the pains of my past are to my current life. They have colored my opinions, influenced my personality and my default responses to life are affected, there is no doubt in my mind.

We have an amazing ministry in our church which we call "Renew" because it focuses on renewing the mind as Romans 12 tells us to do. Don't be conformed to the world, the passage says, but be transformed- changed- by the renewing of your mind.

Anyway, I have found that forgiveness is the most amazing and transforming experience. When I forgive someone, even someone who is dead and gone, it feels as though a huge rock has been taken out of the backpack that I carry through life. I feel joy!

My husband and I like to camp in the wilderness so we go to Colorado nearly every summer and we still love to hike off to remote locations. One time we carried everything we needed (except water) to live for 4 days in the wilderness. We had a filter to purify water. Our backpacks were very heavy with tent, sleeping bags, food and cooking gear. We had to hike very slowly because there is "no air" in Colorado- at least it feels that way to flat-landers.
So I have experienced first hand what it feels like to plod along with a heavy load attached to me. When we reach our camping destination we remove the huge packs and set up camp. Whenever we go day hiking we carry clean water and snacks, a rain pancho for the sudden storms that come up, maybe a few first aid items, binoculars, maybe a camera, but the load is so much lighter. It does not feel like a burden at all compared to the backpack.

That is how I feel after I have honestly come before God and examined my "load". He opens my eyes to the fact that I need to forgive someone and when I willingly forgive I feel like a big weight has been removed and I am lighter! It is exhilarating and it makes me all the more willing to do it again the next time.