The Value of Loyalty

I wasn’t very popular in grade school but I had one special friend starting in second grade, named Suzanne. We played together every recess. We shared our lunches and swapped food with each other. We played jump-rope and hopscotch together. We confided and told each other secrets. We were best of friends. Suzanne’s mother was a bit unstable. The diagnosis “bi-polar” didn’t exist then but that was the style of her instability. She would seem to switch personalities. I still envied Suzanne for her family life because it seemed far superior to mine.

One day in about 5th or 6th grade, Suzanne came to me sadly and told me she was no longer allowed to play with me. It seemed her mother was having a bit of Protestant zeal and had decided that my nominal Catholic home was a threat. Suzanne would not be allowed to play with any Catholics. I assured her we had no real religion but she said her mom’s mind was made up and her younger sisters would be watching to be sure that we no longer talked after today.

I was crushed. I could hardly believe what was happening but my hope was that her mom would soon “forget” and we could resume being best friends. But the sadness I felt was nothing compared to what was coming. Suzanne not only stopped talking to me but in a fairly short amount of time she joined a small group of girls and started taunting me- calling me names. I was so hurt and shocked. How could a person be a close friend one week and an enemy the next? Our relationship was never the same- even after Suzanne’s mom “forgot” about the ban on Catholics.

I do think it can be very hard at times but I believe there is much value in loyalty. I am afraid we have become a culture that pursues immediate personal happiness and comfort at the expense of relational depth. If a job doesn’t keep me happy- I get another job. If a church doesn’t feel good to me- I get another church. If my marriage is hard- I get another spouse. We readily throw up our hands and leave when things get hard- we have little to no fortitude. No willingness to suffer for the greater good.

I know I don’t like to suffer but I must say, lately, I have been harvesting some of the sweetest relational fruit that I have ever had. I have been married to a sweet gentle man for 35 years. Our anniversary is tomorrow and we are able to laugh easily, work side by side, talk deeply about heady subjects. We can endure tough times and pull together to do it. It hasn’t always been easy but the loyalty has been utterly priceless.