My earliest memories involve me getting hurt. One time I cut my hand while standing on a chair "helping" mom peel potatoes and another time I fell down the stairs. Both times the thing that sealed the memory in my mind was my mom's hysteria. She over-reacted to my injuries probably because she was so young, she was only 16 when she had me. She lived a short life. She was only 19 when she was killed in a car accident.
Mom loved sweet, creamy treats and I remember eating pudding with her and we would make uumm sounds and giggle then take another bite and uumm again. I had just turned 3 years old when she was killed. No one would tell me where she had gone. They just told me to "go and play".
Dad and I went to live with his parents so grandma could take care of me. Grandma was a busy, hard-working farm wife but she was happy to spend time with me and she let me "help" her with all kinds of work. I quickly became attached to her and to grandpa. Our time together was short though because she died eight months later of a heart attack. I was still three.
Suddenly gone. Again. Grown ups were crying and that was frightening to me. But still, no one would tell me where she went. "Why don't you go outside and play?" That was how they responded to my questions.
So, I hardened my heart. I decided to just go outside and play-- alone.
I wouldn't count on anyone being there tomorrow.
Mom loved sweet, creamy treats and I remember eating pudding with her and we would make uumm sounds and giggle then take another bite and uumm again. I had just turned 3 years old when she was killed. No one would tell me where she had gone. They just told me to "go and play".
Dad and I went to live with his parents so grandma could take care of me. Grandma was a busy, hard-working farm wife but she was happy to spend time with me and she let me "help" her with all kinds of work. I quickly became attached to her and to grandpa. Our time together was short though because she died eight months later of a heart attack. I was still three.
Suddenly gone. Again. Grown ups were crying and that was frightening to me. But still, no one would tell me where she went. "Why don't you go outside and play?" That was how they responded to my questions.
So, I hardened my heart. I decided to just go outside and play-- alone.
I wouldn't count on anyone being there tomorrow.
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