Mind Numbing Pain

I met a woman this week. She doesn't live around here. She drove several hours to come and talk to me. She said she needed a Christian woman to bare her soul to. Her story was so embarassing to her that she couldn't tell anyone in her own church or community.

As I listened to her story I wept. My brain was racing with prayer. "Oh Dear God! You have to help me here! I am so over my head! How can I possibly counsel her?"

Her appearance was pleasant, her clothing fashionable and nice, her handbag was fine leather, her shoes and hair...her car, all excellent, high quality. She was slim and healthy but inside of her heart was the deadly poison of unforgiveness. And she had no peace. Her soul was tormented by her inability to forgive. She had tried over and over.

The sin that was committed against her staggered my mind. I felt as tho' I had been punched in the gut- I scarcely could breathe as I listened while she calmly told the story.

The horrible sins that humanity is capable of just grieves me to the core. It is terrifying because I am capable of horrible sin too and I know it.

Years ago my pastors were teaching a series on the ten commandments. It was Friday afternoon and I was working in the church office while a pastor studied in his room. He came out for a break and I asked "What commandments are you teaching on this week?" "Thou shalt not kill." he answered. "Well," I began "at least that's one commandment I haven't..." but then I stopped without finishing the sentence because I remembered the abortion. We looked at each other awkwardly. It hit me- I have broken all of the commandments.


I have been at the bottom of the pit. I've committed every sort of evil. It is an astounding thing to me that God was willing to reach down into the filth - lift me up- wash me off- and adopt me as His own child, to give my life purpose and meaning.

No sin is too ugly to forgive. And when I am faced with sin that is so dark that my mind feels numb with the pain and horror of it, I can pray, with hope, that the sinner will repent! I can pray that he will have a fear- even a terror- of facing God Almighty and giving an account for his deeds.

The trouble is- the man in this woman's story is well known in his community, a key leader even in his church. He thinks he is very wealthy and powerful but unless he empties himself and cries out to God- he is in for a horrible shock.
The most precious jewel in all the world is a healthy fear of God.